Not So Ordinary Day

Yesterday, after moving a bunch of our crap back from Newport News, and running a bunch of errands, Woody and I took a walk with our dogs out to Calais field on a gorgeous afternoon. Calais is a beautiful place - you've seen a handful of pictures of it trough the last few years if you've been following this blog for long or if you're my friend on Facebook. It is property that belongs to the barn where I grew up riding and is right down the street from where my parents live. It is one of my favorite places in the world.

Anyway- I donned my new glasses and and a tie-dye t shirt and we went off- Phoebe without a leash and Rusty kept closely tethered because we just don't trust him. It was hot so we stopped at a coop for a minute.

You should know that when Woody and I started dating, he didn't make plans in advance. He didn't think about the future and refused to commit to anything that happened more than 2 weeks away.

So I was sitting there, watching Rusty dig a hole to sit in, and Woody said, "Remember when I couldn't plan for anything more than 2 weeks ahead?" and then he got down on one knee and told me how now he couldn't stop planning a future with me. And he pulled out this ring and asked me to marry him and we both were crying and of course I said yes.

So I'm engaged. :)

Alarm Clock for Men

I'm very sensitive to alarm clocks. After I use the same one a couple times, my body will actually wake up to the pre-alarm "pop" or "click" that a lot of alarms make; if I'm using my phone's alarm like a normal modern person and not some cave dweller who still uses a clock radio, my body just becomes sort of half awake around the time my alarm usually goes off.

Woody can sleep through the first thirty seconds of any alarm. Actually, I'm pretty sure he could sleep through longer periods, it's just that after thirty seconds I have either turned it off myself or failed to find it and thus begin throwing pillows at him until he wakes up and turns it off.

I've been experiencing a lot of what I call Sleep Envy since the end of the semester. Woody falls asleep about two hours before I do every night and usually, although not always, sleeps in later. This is just wrong, all wrong. I love sleep more than any normal person should and I consider it a universal injustice if anyone I know gets to sleep when I cannot.

So this morning when Woody's alarm woke me up because we have to move the rest of our stuff back to Richmond - and I'd like to point out that he is currently sleeping right now- I thought I would pretend not to hear it and let him wake up and turn it off. After like 15 seconds of buzzing he hit the snooze button so just as I had gotten back to sleep - alright, alright - I'm up!

Rusty is a vampire

1. Fangs
2. He is definitely evil
3. He only comes inside if he has been invited.

Real World, Week 1

So I graduated, right?

As it turns out, a degree in history qualifies me for absolutely nothing. Except nannying and sales.

Ugh!

Graduation, or "Now what?"

I spent senior week in Key West with my family & boyfriend and my graduation at his sisters' dance event, but the fact of the matter is: I'm done. It's over.

With an A in senior seminar and Chinese history, and a C in African history, I have officially graduated from college.

I had a job offer to spend a year working on a breeding farm in PA, but ultimately turned it down. So now I have no prospects & no interviews and have to figure out what to do with my life. But the good news is that I can probably do it all from Richmond. And I will be okay as long as I am with him which is really all I care about.

Oh and our families live here, too. Hi, Mom. Hi, Kathy. Love you both.

Anyway, I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself now. 12 years of school followed by 8 years of college means the only thing I am really qualified to be is a professional student. Thank god that's no longer an option.

But really. Now what?

Love

I'll never need more than this <3

Crying So Hard: A Memoir

I just got my grades back for my semester. I didn't think that it was ever going to happen, that things would ever work out for me in the college years. I had gone from being one of the smartest and most motivated students in high school to a chronic under-achiever. I hated talking to my friends from high school because they all got out and started their lives and several of them are married now and starting families. I had never felt worse about myself and my (lack of) accomplishments than when I turned 25 and was still in undergrad with no foreseeable end in sight.

But I got my grades back today from my last semester. Everyone told me that I was going to be fine but I did not believe them. I had missed a lot of classes in China class and I had the worst professor in the school for my African history class. For most of the semester I thought he was going to fail me just because he didn't like me. I started running scenarios in my head about what next fall would be like if I had to stick around because I failed Africa class. At least my favorite professor wouldn't be on sabbatical and I would have had him to talk to. And they are offering some neat classes.

And I can't forget senior seminar. I was in tears this whole semeseter it seems due to the stress of this class. I got an A on my paper. An A in Senior Sem. I don't even know how that happened. It was so stressful, this whole semester was so stressful.


For most people - they say that college are the best years of their life. They are inbetween being in high school and under your parents' control, but you're not in the real world yet - so no real obligations other than class. So many people I know just loved their time at college. Maybe they were lucky and figured out what they wanted to do early on. Maybe they ended up at a school they really loved and made great friends.

I feel like most people who cry at graduation ceremonies are a mixture of excitement and sadness to leave behind their friends and the school that gave them such great memories.


But I have hated every single moment of college. Every day was a struggle. Going to college has been the absolute worst decision of my life and I wish I could tell my 18 year old self - no. Do not put yourself through 8 years of hell. Just keep working with horses, keep riding, and get a job in the equine world. Because otherwise you are going to hate your life for the next 8 years and then, when you're finally finished... you're going to go work with horses. It was not worth it. Not for me. Absolutely the only good thing that came out of college for me was meeting Woody.

So when I cry now - which I have been off an on since I got my grades back: it is relief. it is freedom. it is a joy i have never felt before in knowing that it is OVER. The worst 8 years of my life have finally ended.

And now I can finally start living
I am going to marry the man that I love
And I am going to work with horses like I have always dreamed of.