Not so bad?

I was feeling rather depressed today as I walked across campus, because it is cold and overcast and I did not wear nearly enough layers - to the point where I seriously might go buy a sweatshirt at the bookstore today - and being just generally unhappy with the fact that is Monday, it is early, and it is a very long day for me.

And then I saw someone whom I can only assume is a professor, walking across campus with a spectacular handlebar mustache, and I thought - wow. That fellow either has a wonderful sense of humor or a horrific sense of fashion. And I smiled as the wind blew right through my shirt and I felt the cold of winter within my bones.

Thank you, sir, for ignoring the rules with reckless abandon, for without people like you, I would have no one to mock.

2011: Not a fan

I really do try to be a positive person, especially on my blog, because nothing annoys me more than emo whiny blog posts where no one can be happy about anything. But honestly I have had such a disappointing weekend and truthfully, the entirety of January 2011 has been a disaster.

I spent the first two and a half weeks of the month being dreadfully sick, and then classes started, and I have to say that I just hate school semester. I don't want to be here. My classes are fine I guess, but I hate being on campus for 9 hours on M/W/F and it has made me so miserable. I don't have time to do anything fun except for hanging out with Brittany which I'm pretty sure, at this point, is the only thing that is keeping me from going completely crazy.

I've been trying to come up with ways to solve this problem but nothing I've come up with is going to work out, apparently. I know it is over simplifying things but I really think that having a horse here in town would be so good for me. Riding is a great stress reliever and it is so relaxing. We don't have money for a new horse, even with selling the other two, but apparently bringing one of the other two here with me isn't an option either. This really sucks - I'd love to have Monty here with me because I think he would be more appropriate for taking lessons on, even if he is a little small for me. But even Biggie would be great to have here because he is so easy going and fun to ride. Ideally, yeah - I want a new horse because neither of the ones we have is just what I'm looking for - but if that's not an option I honestly don't see the harm in having a horse come with me to school, especially if it is going to help keep me sane.

Otherwise - this semester is boring and stressful. Not enough fun and too much work, the all too familiar feelings from the fall semester of 2006 which did not end well for me. I really need 2011 to be better than that year and I hope January is just a funk I am going through - I am not sure I can handle 11 more months of this.

Back in the Saddle

In 2006 I had just transferred from CNU to Virginia Intermont and I was proud to be a member of the 2006-2007 National Championship winning IHSA team. Go look it up - my name is on the roster. Pretty badass. But the problem with riding at that level for so long is that you get used to a certain caliber of horse, and a certain type of instructor - that is to say, the best of the best. These weren't just any horses and the trainers weren't just any coaches. They were incredible animals to ride and I learned so much from the staff at Virginia Intermont - it was an amazing experience, and it changed me forever as a rider, horseman, and person.

This makes it very hard to go home again. To go back to where you started, where things aren't at that level. I was fortunate enough to grow up riding at a place that gave me an excellent foundation in equitation, hunters, dressage, and eventing as well as in the care of horses. I am very thankful for that. But it wasn't a barn that ever took you past a certain level of riding - they only ever went to very local A rated shows and they only ever competed at 3'; at school I was learning so much more and it just wasn't the same anymore. I will always be thankful for the foundation they gave me, and the years and years of childhood memories, and the friendships I formed which have lasted from my childhood into my mid-twenties.

But by 2008 I had figured out that taking lessons there was just not going to be the same experience, and I was so disappointed, because by that time I had left VI for personal reasons, and could no longer take lessons with the trainers that I loved so much. I still adored the people out there, who I had been riding with since I was 8 years old and grown up around, and the land was beautiful, so I continued to board there and I don't regret that. But it was like having a taste of Key Lime Pie made in Key West and then only ever being able to eat pie from a freezer afterwards.

Fast forward to 2011, I am back in college and searching for somewhere to take lessons and ride regularly (and hopefully board a horse, but we will get to that later) - and I shopped around. I am so happy to say that today I had my first lesson at Amazing Grace Stable, which is such an incredible barn! The people who run it are well educated and know what they are doing both when it comes to lessons and horse care. The horses there are in excellent condition and I enjoyed my lesson so much today. My trainer made the decision to put me on a very well behaved pony to get an idea of what kind of rider I was - something I think was a very good decision on her part - and I had a blast on Jack! He was a precious little chestnut who I think had as much fun as I did. I enjoyed getting to know the other riders in my lesson and it was a really fun day.

The best thing is that it definitely lived up to the standards set at VI and I was losing faith that I would ever find something that could compare to that experience! I am definitely looking forward to the rest of the semester and hope that soon I will have more stories and some photos to share.

Horse

See the horse that shows up in my profile picture, there on the right side of my blog? That's Monty. I bought him in 2007, and I paid the board bills for him until my shoulder got crushed by a horse with an attitude and I was out of work - then my parents helped me out with the monthly fee. I thought I would keep him forever, I really did, and when I put him up for sale last summer I didn't think I could do it.

He is up for sale again now and I'm ready. I want to sell him because I want to buy a new one - something that is more for me. Monty was a really amazing experience, and I am so glad that I have owned him for the last few years because we have taught each other a lot. But he isn't the kind of horse I like to ride - I want the dead quiet ones or at least one that is an uncomplicated ride. I need one that is bigger because I am too tall through the upper body to fit him properly.

So now I've come to a point where I am just absolutely desperate for someone to buy my horse, and I'm so ready to move on that I'm really considering donating him to a college riding program or something, just so that I can move on with the next part of my life. I feel like I have been stuck in the same place for awhile and it is nice to be back in school, but there has been other drama recently in the horse world involving some friends of mine - and let's just say I feel like it is a good time for a fresh start.

There's a horse I really like in Michigan. There's a horse I really, really like in Florida. They are both reasonably priced for how fancy they are, and I just know that I am going to get screwed out of being able to have either one of them because I am going to be unable to sell Monty. It's incredibly frustrating.

Spring Cleaning

I love to organize. It is some of the most fun you can have with your day, I truly believe that. Today I went to Target and spent entirely too much money, but I got some much needed items, including a plastic set of drawers for inside my closet (of which I will be returning to purchase a second, because I can fit another one and use another one) as well as a neat whiteboard thing that has some organizer compartments in it.

I had a 3 and a half hour break between two of my classes which I intend to use to ride once I buy a new horse, but it was perfect for shopping today and then I came home and put the time to good use. I cleaned out and entirely reorganized my closet (Mom would be proud) and then spent about half an hour trying to figure out how in the world to hang the damn whiteboard. My makeshift way is not correct, I'm sure, and I've kept the necessary parts so that Dad or David can hang it properly for me in the near future.

Next on my list is to print out a picture of Joey and a picture of Chandler and get little 4 x 6 frames, and to replace the random 4x6 paintings hanging on the wall over my desk with pictures of the 4 Calais dogs. I already have the two little dogs printed out and stuck unofficially on the outside of the frames. But I want to make this room feel more like home. I'd also like some large pictures (more like 8x10) of Monty and Biggie to hang above the saddle rack in my room because I think that would be cute.

Soon I'll be getting a new mattress and getting rid of one of the beds in here which will give me more space - everything is so cramped in here right now. I refuse to take down Phoebe's crate because she WILL come live with me again one day, but the furniture in here is so badly put together that it drives me crazy! Can't wait to have more space in here.

I love Thursdays

I spend Monday, Wednesday and Friday on campus. All day. I get up around 8 and shower and then go to class, and between classes I am reading, writing, translating, and then doing a lot more reading. I barely have time to eat and then on rare occasions Brittany manages to convince me to leave campus for an adventure. Yesterday, for example, we went to get our passports which was even more stressful than just getting more work done. I get home around 8:00 pm and I am so exhausted that I can't function, I lay in bed until I can fall asleep. Sometimes I have to read some more and sometimes I can manage to watch a movie, but I can tell you right now that I despise Mondays and Wednesdays with the entirety of my being. They make me hate being a student.


I was almost lucky enough to get my schedule entirely on Monday/Wednesday/Friday, and as it stands I just have one Tuesday and Thursday class. I have a feeling I will come to love Tuesdays as well - I will have my riding lesson at 1:00 on Tuesdays and I am looking forward to starting that next week. I will be able to sleep in until 11:00 or so and then get ready to go ride at a really gorgeous barn that is full of amazing horses and people before going to a class at 4:00 about witchcraft - that's pretty neat, right? So far it has been, anyway.


But Thursday. Oh, sweet, sweet Thursday. If I wanted to - if I really wanted to - I could sleep until 3:00. I got up today around 10, even though I first woke up around 7:00 this morning, I just rolled back over and went to sleep. It was so amazing. I spent the morning relaxing in bed reading weird news articles on the website that my brother works for, watching episodes of Lie to Me, and sipping on a Coke Zero. After class tonight I will do my Latin translations and hopefully have a nice relaxing evening.

I can already tell that this semester will be lived from Thursday to Thursday - counting down the moments until I can sleep in and just relax for a few hours in the middle of my crazy week.

Words to live by.

Let the good days outnumber the bad.

RIP Chandler
2002-2011

And you call me gullible

I'm reading a book called Agnes Bowker's Cat. It has to do with Witchcraft in early modern England and anyway, one of the stories it discusses is about the girl Agnes Bowker and how she lied to everyone in the 1500s and told them all she had sex with a crazy big animal of some kind and then gave birth to a cat.

And guys, there were a bunch of people in the room and somehow there was a dead cat on the floor but the point is, while there were people who were skeptical and she did later recant her story, there were people who actually believed she had given birth to a cat.

You can make fun of me all you want for not understanding sarcasm and never understanding when someone is joking or telling a white lie, but from now on whenever someone thinks I am being ridiculous I am simply going to respond "Agnes Bowker's Cat" in an effort to remind you that there was, at some point, a group of people capable of believing even more outrageous stories than I do.

This isn't Hogwarts.

"This is a good time to pause and point out that this is a history class. This isn't an instructional class that teaches you how to perform witchcraft. I've had students come into this class expecting that but... this isn't Hogwarts." -one of my professors, about my history of witchcraft class


The new semester is here and after all my talk about feeling prepared and ready, I am ashamed to admit being the biggest hypocrite ever. I am SO not ready for this!

After an exhausting nine hour day yesterday and what can only be described as an anxiety attack about the workload for this semester, I ended up dropping one of my classes (Ancient Egypt) due not only to the workload but the due dates of the assignments that coincided so closely with my other classes. I entered all of the dates into my planner on my iPad and just felt overwhelmed - I knew I had to drop something. Egypt, although it seems like a fascinating subject, fulfilled both my major and minor requirements, and professor seemed like he had an excellent sense of humor, was the class that didn't make the cut after a lot of careful consideration.

Now my course load seems much more manageable and I am hoping to be able to get into a math class so I can get up to 15 credits before the week is over; otherwise I guess I am stuck at 12 credits for the second semester in a row, which isn't that terrible considering how much reading and writing my other classes will require. It does possibly push my graduation date back to December of 2012 again, but honestly, I don't care that much anymore. I'm just so relieved to have less work this semester.

Anyway, I was working on this earlier because I was bored and I thought I would share this, and at the end of the semester I can go back over things and see if I was correct.

Predictions for Spring 2011:
Most likely to be favorite class: America 1961-present, I really like the professor's teaching style and the material is something I have always wanted to study
Most likely to be least favorite class: It might be a little too early in the semester to predict this, give me about two weeks and I can tell you. Right now they all seem pretty interesting.
Most reading involved: Witchcraft
Most writing involved: America 1921-present
Hardest class: Tudor-Stuart Britain
Easiest class: Math, if I can get into one!
Most interesting class: Witchcraft
Class I am most passionate about: Latin
Most likely to be highest grade: Tough to tell at this point
Most likely to be lowest grade: Latin? My grades went from High As to low As in the course of last semester, if that trend continues I could end up with Bs this semester. I am hoping to pull off an A in everything, though!

New semester.

I have had the most gloriously unproductive winter break that ever existed. No, really - I spent most of my time sleeping and hanging out with friends or family. I didn't work a winter job (although I probably should have) but just my brain relax and prepare for the next semester. I watched a lot of Netflix instant streaming, played a lot of video games, didn't get up before noon once, and spent a lot of time with my boyfriend. It was exactly what I needed.

Last semester was so demanding. Between Betty Terry's death - which has effected me so much more than I thought it would - to the stress of being back at a real university with a full level course load and the amount of pressure I manage to put on myself, it was exhausting. It was really rewarding, in the end. I was a quarter of a grade point away from making Dean's List and I know exactly how I can fix things and do better next semester.

I feel refreshed, and I am looking forward to my classes. I have all my books and I'm packing my things away so that I can leave tomorrow. I'm hopefully going to be taking lessons at the barn where the CNU team rides, which is a really amazing facility - I love it there. So along with my winter clothes, books, and computers - my riding gear and equipment will be making the journey with me tomorrow.

I think it is going to be a good semester.

Perfect afternoons.

As our horses are bucking and galloping out of control across Calais...

"This is way better than dress shopping!" - Lauren

And that, my friends, is the truth.

The fact that it's 2011 makes me feel old.

I have 3 New Year's Resolutions for 2011.

1. Lose 15 more pounds.
I have lost 20 lbs this semester and I would like to lose 15 more to bring me down to my goal weight of 150. I already feel great and look a lot better than I did, so maybe asking for 15 more pounds is pushing it, but I want to go for it. David and I went to a New Year's party with our best friends, I wore my skinny jeans from high school. It was amazing and I love that feeling!

2. Make the Dean's List
I hope this one does not become too stressful because I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself, but I was a quarter of a grade point away from Dean's List last semester and I feel like if I really apply myself more, I can be on it this spring. I am taking a lot of interesting classes this spring - Ancient Egypt, 20th Century America 1961-present, Tudor Stuart Britain, and of course another Latin class. I'm less excited about a required English class that is writing intensive (and my history classes will all have papers and essays also) so it will be a lot of work! But I think I can handle it.

3. Stress Less
This one sort of contradicts resolution number 2, and I get that, I don't think I am going to be able to do both. I think this is probably the one I will not be able to accomplish. But it is worth writing down, damn it, because I really need to chill out. However if I lose my chance of not making Dean's List I will do my best to chill out and relax and not cry about it.

I know that a lot of people don't make resolutions, and that new years are really a man made concept, but I do like to set goals for myself and I don't think any of these are too out of reach.

Oh and happy new year!