Princess Phoebe

I love my dog.

I know that everyone says that, but I'm pretty sure my obsession with Phoebe is not altogether healthy. She is my princess. I love her like a human and I buy her presents regularly, the dog has more toys than most children do. David loves her, too. I'm pretty sure that there are some nights when he comes over just to see the dog, because he sits down, she jumps in his lap, and never gets up. And the whole time he was giving her a deep tissue massage - I'm not joking. No wonder he's her favorite.

The dog snores. If I hadn't seen her do it, I wouldn't believe the noise was coming from her, but she regularly wakes me up in the middle of the night because of it. I'm a light sleeper anyway, and I am pretty mean when I get woken up in the middle of the night because sleep is so hard to come by. Anyway, she snores as loud as my six-foot-four father. Really. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night due to loud snores and get out of bed to go to the other room to wake up Dad and tell him to knock it off, only to discover that the horrific noise stops as soon as I sit up.

She's a twenty pound dog! I don't understand. If Joey snored it would make sense to me, because he is old and fat and huge. But Phoebe is so little and so... princess. But it's true. And I don't know what to do about it. She sleeps in my bed every night, or on the floor in her own little dog bed which is right next to mine, and I can't sleep if she isn't with me. But I don't think they make tiny little Phoebe sized APAP machines. I don't think those anti-snoring nasal strips are designed for doggie use. And I'm not sure a sleep clinic would accept a cockapoo client, even if she was a princess.