The perfect game.

Today was a good day - busy, but good. After class I got some homework done and then had to go shopping at Target to get art supplies and other things for a group project. You never really expect to have to buy markers and poster board as a college student, but there you have it. I think our presentation next week is gonna go pretty well! We worked on it for a few hours tonight and it was really relaxing.

Classes went well today, too. Lots of homework for Latin but I got quite a bit done in the library before our group meeting.

And I got back my test grade from my history 357 midterm. I was really nervous about this - it was definitely the hardest of the tests I have taken so far this semester, and when I got my grade back I really had to fight back tears.

A perfect 100%.

I don't really know if I can put in words how much that one grade means to me, because not only because I worked so hard studying and I just like to get As, but because my entire college career up until now has been a failure. Not in the sense that I have gotten bad grades, but every "life plan" I have ever made for myself has crumbled and I have been crushed time and time again as I realize that something isn't going to work out. It's so very hard not knowing what you want to do with your life - or even what to major in - when you're almost 25 and all of your friends have graduated and moved on to real careers.

So with this I was sort of bracing myself. I love what I am doing right now - history and classical studies, this is amazing. But it all has seemed too good to be true and I've just been waiting for it to fall apart. Why wouldn't it, when that is all college has ever been for me? I try so hard to be optimistic but I'm tired of the pain that follows that sort of disappointment.

But this grade - this proves that I can do this. My first test in my first upper level history class - 3 full essays and some identifications on top of that - and I get completely full credit. I can't explain how much this means to me. I really think I am going to get the little blue book framed and hang it on my wall so that I can always see it - so that it'll always inspire me and keep me going. 

I think my mood is pretty on par with Roy Halladay's tonight - he just threw a no hitter in the post season, something that has only happened one other time in the history of baseball.

This test is my perfect game.