Strong at the Broken Places

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places."
- Ernest Hemingway

I saw this quote on a childhood friend's facebook page last night, and I haven't been able to get it out of my head. I was thinking about how much it applies to my life, and reflecting over the last few years. I started this blog in 2006 when I was really depressed (though I have since gone back and deleted the evidence) and the difference in the last 3 years is really striking.

There have really only been two real "breaks" in my life - one with my dreams, which I've written about earlier, and one with my heart. And I really do feel stronger because of both of them. I'm a better, healthier, happier person because of it. And I've learned not to take certain things for granted.

For instance, and I'll try to leave the nauseatingly sweet details out of this - my love with David. He is genuinely the nicest, sweetest guy I've ever met. We complement each other so perfectly that it's hard to believe I haven't loved him all of my life. He gives me love & support in a way that no one ever has; he inspires me to be a better person just by being in my life. I feel like the luckiest girl, and every single day I am thankful that by some miracle he feels the same way about me. It's the sort of romance you read about in fairytales, the kind I didn't believe actually existed until I was fortunate enough to experience it myself. And it isn't just me that's noticed it - I've had friends tell me the same thing. One told me that we remind her of Edward & Bella, and while I grimaced at that originally, I do sort of see her point. For me, there is only David. I just don't see other men that way anymore.

That's not to say that we don't argue, or that everything's perfect all the time - because it's not. But I do know how lucky I am, and three years ago I was not able to see the positive side of things. I've grown up so much in the past few years that I surprise myself sometimes, I think if I met the 2006 version of Libby I'd barely recognize myself. I'd have some things to say to her, though, about the way that things are going to get better - better than I ever imagined. About how it's okay to make mistakes because they'll lead you down paths that you couldn't see before. About how it's okay to break down now, because in time, you'll be stronger than ever.

2006 Libby would not have been able to deal with 2009. It's been a difficult one, starting with January 5th or whatever day it was that I was crushed by Traveller. It's been hard on my emotions - struggling through classes all semester and then having to drop them in the last few weeks. It's been harder on my body - surgery and the recovery has been more painful than even dealing with my migraines circa 2002. I think that 2006 Libby would have given up. But the me today has kept pushing through everything because I know that, in the end, it'll all be worth it.

In fact, if I was given the choice today, to live one year of my life to date over and over for all of eternity, sort of like a messed up version of Groundhog's Day, I'd pick 2009. A lot of that is because of him - but it's because of me, too. I'm really happy with the person that I've become. And even with all of the physical pain of this spring and summer, this really has been an amazing year.